The 25 Best Songs of 2012

My completely subjective, utterly mainstream and shamefully limited take on the best singles of the past year. All apologies to any great songs that were ignored or forgotten.

1. "Call Me Maybe" Carly Rae Jepsen
Carly Rae Jepsen's bubblegum ode to a sudden crush took 2012 by storm, spending nine weeks atop the Billboard Hot 100 and sending all of America into a lovestruck frenzy of sing-alongs, covers and parodies. But beneath the zeitgeist was a truly great song driving this cultural sensation. Jepsen's euphoric flurry of sweet synth strings and delightfully dorky come-ons once again demonstrated teen-pop's brilliant potential to capture the intensity of life's extremes, as refracted through young love. Ain't that crazy?

2. "Climax" Usher
Amidst an extended foray into lifeless dance-pop, this slinky, muted electro-R&B ballad was a welcome return to form for Usher. Playing on the title's double-entendre, he laments a dying relationship in a sexy pillow-talk tone that served as a potent reminder of what a powerful, expressive tool his voice can be. It's a triple-entendre if you consider that "Climax" might just be the best song of his 18-year career.

3. "Some Nights" fun.
"We Are Young" may be the Grammy-nominated #1 hit, but breakthrough trio fun. proved their mettle with follow-up "Some Nights," a pop symphony of grand scope and even grander ambition. Its series of moving parts—a sonic wall of a cappella harmonies breaks into pounding drums, a tinkling piano and then Auto-Tuned warbling—plus searching (and somewhat obtuse) lyrics made for a deeper, more rewarding experience with each subsequent listen. That's a risky, and immensely gratifying, recipe for avoiding one-hit wonder status.

4. "What Makes You Beautiful" One Direction
A decade after the Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync disappeared into the annals of pop history, boy bands experienced a mini-comeback, highlighted by the cheeky British lads of One Direction and their undeniable "What Makes You Beautiful." It may be a fluffball of sunny guitars and puppy-dog platitudes, but there's nothing wrong with cheerfully innocent declarations of love done right. Don't roll your eyes; resistance is futile.

5. "Somebody That I Used To Know" Gotye ft. Kimbra
Is there a more unexpected monster smash in recent memory than Gotye's seething kiss-off to a former lover? Almost defiantly quiet and contemplative, it was the polar opposite of the flashy Eurodance anthems dominating pop radio early in the year, making its two-month reign at the top of the charts a remarkable triumph of emotional earnestness. Never underestimate the power of a xylophone hook and a chorus so aching you can't help but be moved to wail along.

6. "Push and Shove" No Doubt ft. Busy Signal and Major Lazer
Guitarist Tony Kanal called it "our 'Bohemian Rhapsody,'" but "Push and Shove" was the most No Doubt-y song on No Doubt's first new album in 11 years. Not that it doesn't take some valuable cues from Queen's famously wacky and beloved rock opera. Shooting from bouncing dancehall verses to a power-pop chorus towering with heavy passion, all of which dovetails by track's end, it's a wild (and wildly satisfying) ride.

7. "Thinkin Bout You" Frank Ocean
This year's buzziest artist deserved the heapings of acclaim for brilliant songs like "Thinkin Bout You," a raw confession of unrequited love. Though simpler and more straightforward than most of channel ORANGE, Frank Ocean makes this one sting with the power of his vivid vocal performance, which perfectly encapsulates his pain with its practiced casualness and moments of piercing falsetto. It's as though he opened his heart and poured all the hurt directly onto record, breaking yours in the process.

8. "Free" Haley Reinhart
Many an American Idol alum has been swallowed by the popstar machine, but season ten's growly, soulful third-place finisher, Haley Reinhart, remained refreshingly true to her old-school spirit on an accomplished debut album. Melding jazzy stylings with radio-friendly songwriting, lead single "Free" was its magnificent peak, especially the blissful, soaring chorus. What a shame it was completely ignored by mainstream audiences.

9. "Little Talks" Of Monsters and Men
In the latter half of the year, indie-rock stylings made a strong resurgence, suggesting pop music's next big trend. The best of the bunch was Icelandic band Of Monster and Men's whimsical, propulsive "Little Talks," which dazzled with its tender coed harmonies and blasting trumpet. Juxtaposing melancholy storytelling—that of a woman talking to her recently deceased husband—against energetic, six-piece revelry, it's a gorgeously cathartic swirl of pain and joy.

10. "Mercy" Kanye West ft. Big Sean, Pusha T and 2 Chainz
It didn't make a knockout first impression, but this chilling, thrilling bit of crew rap was a grower. Its dingy, laid-back vibe offered a striking soundscape and splendid summer counterprogramming: Kanye West and friends casually spitting boastful punchlines over a tense, unnerving beat and hauntingly distorted dancehall hook. Big Sean's opening verse is crackerjack stuff for anyone who loves a good ass pun.

11. "The A Team" Ed Sheeran
Coffeehouse jam session gone dark and gritty, delving into drug addiction and prostitution. As a tragic reality slowly unfurls from the lilting beauty of Ed Sheeran's acoustic melody, it's like a sucker punch to the gut, in the greatest possible way.

12. "Gold on the Ceiling" The Black Keys
Good old-fashioned rock and roll: grubby, stomping, manic, awesome.

13. "Want U Back" Cher Lloyd
With mountains of charisma, Cher Lloyd makes her bratty demands for an ex's affections seem utterly charming. Uh!

14. "Beez in the Trap" Nicki Minaj ft. 2 Chainz
Over a beat so sparse it's almost nonexistent, Nicki Minaj lays down swaggering boasts. In a year defined by her failures (flop singles, lackluster pop-friendly efforts, a truly terrible Grammy performance), this was one moment worth remembering.

15. "Ho Hey" The Lumineers
A gentle slice of folksy rock that lifts the spirits with its understated joy, punctuated by celebratory cheers of ho and hey.

16. "Madness" Muse
This stuttering, burbling brooder stuns with its slow build toward a heavenly climax. The five-minute prog-rock trip will leave you feeling not just moved, but entirely shifted.

17. "Adorn" Miguel
So gleefully retro it sounds like Miguel stepped right out of the Temptations singing this relaxed, groovy celebration of his woman.

18. "Too Close" Alex Clare
In which dubstep grew up, combining with Alex Clare's blue-eyed soul to deepen the emotional portrait of his ultra-hip break-up track.

19. "Feel So Close" Calvin Harris
An airily ascendant house confection that feels bigger than the dance floor—electro spiritual uplift boiled down to one simple verse.

20. "Wide Awake" Katy Perry
Lush and surprisingly mature—both sonically and emotionally—"Wide Awake" provided the perfect conclusion to Katy Perry's never-ending Teenage Dream era and one of the best, most honest moments of her career.

21. "Springsteen" Eric Church
Warm orchestration and bittersweet reminiscences create a nostalgic ballad that indeed "sounds like a memory" you never knew you had.

22. "Locked Out of Heaven" Bruno Mars
His alluringly urgent Sting impression—howling in tortured ecstasy over a dubby reggae-pop jam—gave Bruno Mars his best single yet.

23. "Feel Again" OneRepublic
Ryan Tedder let loose and found some soul in this white-boy gospel revival love song.

24. "Sweet Nothing" Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch
Florence Welch is such an incredible performer of music that her throaty howl can make any song come alive with pain and heartbreak, but she gets a great assist here from a deeply emotional EDM track by über-producer Calvin Harris.

25. "Thrift Shop" Macklemore and Ryan Lewis ft. Wanz
Melded humor and hip-hop in impressively legitimate fashion, sustaining a witty concept (and wildly danceable staccato saxophone beat) without ever resorting to ironic winks at the listener.

Honorable mentions: "This Kiss" Carly Rae Jepsen; "I Knew You Were Trouble" Taylor Swift; "Bad Girls" M.I.A.; "Call My Name" Cheryl Cole; "It All Belongs To Me" Monica and Brandy

Best album track: "Turn Me Up" Carly Rae Jepsen
I didn't get to listen to nearly enough new albums in 2012, but my favorite by far was Carly Rae Jepsen's Kiss, a veritable garden of '80s-tastic pop delights. This fizzy tune about ending a relationship over the phone was the standout—and a hit just waiting to happen—with its fantastic chorus of cheesy-genius wordplay ("I'm breaking up with you/You're breaking up on me").

"Bring Out the Bottles" Redfoo

Redfoo rings in the new year with his first single sans fellow LMFAO-er Sky Blu (the duo announced a hiatus in September), but it feels like nothing has changed: The 37-year-old eternal frat boy is still popping champagne, scoping out fly girls and and giving it up for "party rock" at every opportunity. That's about all there is to the self-produced "Bring Out the Bottles," which is just as flagrantly irksome as anything Redfoo did as a member of his former group. But this ugly mishmash of techno synths, dubstep bass and Auto-Tune has the easily regurgitated chorus it needs—just shout "Bring out the bottles!" a couple more times—to become pop radio and college parties' favorite douche anthem of 2013. Bring on the torture. C-

Throwback Thursday: "Hey Ya!" OutKast

OutKast's time-bending, genre-hopping masterpiece "Hey Ya!" is one of the best songs of the year—not just 2003, when it began an impressive nine-week run atop the Billboard Hot 100, but any year. André 3000 was operating on another level of genius when he conceived this danceable, retro ode to modern relationships, which jumps from hook ("1, 2, 3, uh!") to hook (an unexpected acoustic guitar line) to hook (the hand claps) so gleefully catchy that it doesn't even matter there's no real chorus. His acrobatic vocal performance adds a splash of irresistible charm, demanding emulation with each repeated listen. And it all culminates perfectly in a cheeky call-and-response section—who doesn't love feeling like part of an awesome song's awesomeness?—featuring the command to "Shake it like a Polaroid picture," quite possibly the greatest moment in modern pop music. A+

Nine years ago this week, "Hey Ya!" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"Wanted" Hunter Hayes

Is Hunter Hayes country music's answer to Justin Bieber? That question has dogged the 21-year-old singer-songwriter in the press ever since his rise to prominence earlier this year, and it's not hard to see why: Like the Biebs, Hayes is a boyishly cute blond who makes young girls swoon with sweet love songs, including his #1 country hit "Wanted." The similarities, however, end there. "Wanted," which is currently climbing pop radio, is a tenderly affectionate ballad featuring Hayes on double-duty as impassioned vocalist and equally impassioned pianist. It's a far cry from the swaggy dubstep creations of Bieber's recent efforts, which don't find even a fraction of Hayes' bare intimacy—though at least none of his singles have been this sleep-inducingly bland. B-

"Radioactive" Imagine Dragons

It's been a great year for indie-rock crossovers, including Las Vegas quartet Imagine Dragons, whose stomping ballad "It's Time" was a favorite on the charts and in advertisements. Trading lilting mandolins for grimy dubstep, their follow-up, "Radioactive," feels like the haunted underbelly of that debut hit. Rather than finding comfort in a cheery sense of self, the pounding bass drum and forceful cries of Dan Reynolds turn the lyric "Welcome to the new age...I'm radioactive" into an evocatively pained statement of a man changed by the world around him. B+

"Ready or Not" Bridgit Mendler

The bubblegum pop revival foretold by One Direction and Carly Rae Jepsen sadly never materialized. In the second half of 2012, the only disciple of note was 19-year-old Disney starlet Bridgit Mendler, whose debut single "Ready or Not" has been hanging around the top 40 of pop radio and iTunes for months without fully breaking out. Playing off the Fugees classic of the same name, the song follows the perky Mendler in pursuit of a romantic interest. And taking further cues from that unexpected source, there are hip-hop undertones in the heavy drum beat and even the cadence of Mendler's sing-talk delivery that give some edge to the fluffy ear-candy production. (It's very reminiscent of Natasha Bedingfield's "These Words.") While not as undeniable as 1D or Carly's career-launching hits, "Ready" is a solid, if straightforward, first effort that merits further consideration for Mendler. B

Throwback Thursday: "Empire State of Mind" Jay-Z ft. Alicia Keys

Is there a better geographic ode in pop music than "Empire State of Mind," Jay-Z's bouncy love letter to New York? Maybe for the most cynical of the hometown crowd, who have criticized it for failing to reflect their city's gritty urban reality and cool detachment. But for the rest of us, the fantasies of the American Dream are alive and well in the song's intimate tour of the five boroughs (with all the wide-eyed, touristy wonder it inspires) and especially Alicia Key's soaring hook, catchy enough to make anyone want to be a New Yorker. It's no wonder "Empire" finally gave Jay his first #1 hit as a lead artist, more than a decade into his prolific career. A

Four years ago this week, "Empire State of Mind" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"How You Love Me Now" Hey Monday

The third season of NBC's hit singing competition The Voice ended tonight with minor controversy as Cassadee Pope was crowned the show's first female winner despite a former major-label deal as the frontwoman of punk-pop outfit Hey Monday. It seems a rather silly fuss, given that the group never saw much success; they are perhaps best known for once having a song covered on Glee. But in the interest of fairness, their 2009 single "How You Love Me Now" did briefly reach the top forty on pop radio—a slight achievement better left forgotten. Powered by peppy guitars and drums, as well as Pope's Avril-lite vocals, "Love" is the type of pseudo-headbanging migraine that regularly cropped up in the wake of Fall Out Boy. (See also: Paramore, Panic! at the Disco, et al.) Judging by Pope's victory song—a faithful, if slightly shouty, cover of Faith Hill's 2002 adult-contemporary smash "Cry"—she's trying something different for her solo career, and that's a wise decision for all involved. C-

"United State of Pop 2012 (Shine Brighter)" DJ Earworm

Over the past five years, DJ Earworm's annual mash-up of the 25 biggest Hot 100 hits has become an event for pop music fans. Offering an opportunity for reflection on the trends that were, each new United State of Pop mix earns millions of online streams and even some radio spins following its late-December debut. The 2012 edition, subtitled "Shine Brighter," dropped today with much fanfare, and it's (quite literally) a change of pace for the series. Picking up on pop's split identity over the past twelve months—as dance sounds were slowly replaced by natural instruments, ballads and folk influences—it is more subdued than its predecessors, despite pulling most heavily from Ke$ha's frivolous anthem "Die Young." Even as it eventually kicks into club-ready overdrive, "Shine" remains relatively grounded: darkly melodious rather than pleasingly heart-pounding, with something more on its mind that just the usual Frankensteined lyrics about partying all night long. It's not the raucous good time of Earworm's 2009 peak, but "Shine" provides a refreshing reboot to an aging franchise. B+

"Don't Stop the Party" Pitbull ft. TJR

Possessing borderline skill as an emcee and a catalog of mostly pop-friendly dance tunes, Pitbull has always been more hype man than rapper. (Tellingly, he has never scored a hit on hip-hop radio.) But the transformation seems complete on his latest single, "Don't Stop the Party," a clunky club track that plays like a series of catchphrases rather than a song. Over a dull EDM beat from Los Angeles DJ TJR, the self-proclaimed Mr. Worldwide grunts his way through repetitive hooks and bare sketches of global exploits that sound so tossed-off they barely command attention. It'd be more accurate to say this lifeless party never really gets started. C-

Throwback Thursday: "We Didn't Start the Fire" Billy Joel

Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" is often regarded as one of rock and roll's worst songs, resembling "a term paper scribbled the night before it's due," as Blender once put it. But in the grand scheme of novelty hits, its gimmick has held up better than most. Two decades on, Joel's rapid-fire, rhyming recollection of 20th-century culture since his birth, from Harry Truman to 1980s soda wars, is still quite fun. Beneath the irreverence (and maybe the teensiest bit of egotism), there's a simple wit to such an undertaking. The famous chorus is, of course, total nonsense, but why deny its rousing appeal? B

23 years ago this week, "We Didn't Start the Fire" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"Daylight" Maroon 5

There's no worse sin in popular culture than being boring—except, perhaps, for trying to pass off mediocrity as a work of genius. Maroon 5 has done both with their latest single, "Daylight," releasing earlier today a nearly ten-minute "It Gets Better"-style video for the song featuring contributions from fans around the world. It is, at best, an act of ludicrous self-aggrandizement. "Daylight" offers the vague soft-rock musings of a lover who must leave in the morning—a far cry from the raw, often tragic, and rather moving confessions of the video. That's not to say the Daylight Project, as the band has dubbed it, is entirely without merit. But in this context, it mostly comes across as exploitative, attempting to elevate bland album filler into the status of an empowerment anthem. C+

"C'Mon" Ke$ha

Despite scoring a #1 pop hit this fall with "Die Young"—a middling retread of previous artistic territory that has since grown on me—Ke$ha's latest album, Warrior, landed with a thud upon its release last week, outsold by Taylor Swift, One Direction and even Rod Stewart. Is this just a brief career misstep or a sign that her days on the charts are numbered? I have my theories (a pop star's contributions can only get so thin before there's nothing left for audiences to hold onto), but we'll get a better sense of Ke$ha's prospects with the performance of her next single, "C'Mon," which she debuted on last Thursday's X Factor results show. It's her live-fast-and-loose version of a love song, but with Auto-Tuned tales of mildly deviant behavior over the burble of a Dr. Luke synthscape, it's also nothing that audiences haven't heard from her before. That should make it the perfect litmus test for whether music's biggest party animal is officially all pooped out. B

"Thinkin Bout You" Frank Ocean

On Wednesday night, this year's Grammy nominations were announced, and leading the pack was 2012's buzziest new artist, Frank Ocean. The songwriter-turned-R&B sensation was recognized in six categories, including Album of the Year, for his much-lauded debut, channel ORANGE, and Record of the Year, for its gorgeous lead single, "Thinkin Bout You." Though facing some stiff competition—look for a likely win by "We Are Young," the #1 hit from 2012's other big Grammy-certified breakout, fun.—"Thinkin" would make a fine choice. Its soulful minimalism is a striking, unique presence among this batch of Record of the Year contenders and the current dance-heavy music scene. But what shines brightest is Ocean's vivid vocal performance—a perfect encapsulation of the pain of unrequited love, with its practiced casualness and moments of passionate falsetto when the feelings simply can't be contained. It's as though he has opened his heart and poured all the hurt directly into song, breaking yours in the process. A

Throwback Thursday: "One Sweet Day" Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men

Take a look at a list of the longest-running #1's of all time and you'll find two Boyz II Men singles, one from Mariah Carey and, at the top, a signature duet between the two acts. Their collaboration, "One Sweet Day," debuted at #1 this week 17 years ago, the start of a truly remarkable 16-week reign on the Billboard Hot 100. It seems enough time has passed, though, to acknowledge that "Day" isn't all that great of a song. Written as a tribute to lost loved ones, including Carey's HIV-infected sister, the artists deserve credit for their tastefully understated approach to a sentimental topic. "Day" is certainly sweet and sincere, but it's never all that profoundly moving. Blame the languid pace and driveling adult-contemporary arrangement, which are unfortunately at their most interesting during the final minute of overwrought emotional melisma. C+

17 years ago this week, "One Sweet Day" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"Love and War" Tamar Braxton

And now for the most surprising insta-smash of the year: "Love and War," the comeback single from Tamar (sister of Toni) Braxton, whose attempts to launch a singing career in the '90s never took off. "Love" soared to #1 on iTunes upon its release yesterday, surprising many chart watchers who had never even heard of Braxton. Never underestimate the power of a WE tv reality show, I suppose—or Lady Gaga, who tweeted support for the wife of her manager, Vincent Herbert. As for the song itself, it's a fairly standard R&B power ballad: a suave drum-machine slow jam punctuated by can't-hold-back bursts of emotion and vocal showmanship. This "Love" is nothing special—it feels straight out of the decade that initially rejected Braxton, especially the heavy-handed battle metaphors—but it's more than enough in a music scene starved for the genre's displays of raw soul. B

"Cruise" Florida Georgia Line

Nashville's latest breakthrough act is Florida Georgia Line, a guitar-strumming vocal duo from the aforementioned states whose debut single, "Cruise," recently hit #1 on country radio. It's as straightforward a twangy jam as you could ever imagine, touching on numerous standbys of the genre, including Southern babes, pickup trucks and comparing situations to a song—all of which is a probably a relief for country fans who have felt besieged by the record-breaking chart reign of Taylor Swift's utterly poppy "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together." For the rest of us, it offers a nice escape from the winter blues. B

"Beauty and a Beat" Justin Bieber ft. Nicki Minaj

I initially intended to ignore "Beauty and a Beat," the third release from Justin Bieber's Believe. I was just about done with Canada's biggest export since Shania Twain after his two previous singles proved among the year's most disappointing, wasting perfectly good pop hooks on desperate (and somewhat creepy) attempts to prove that he's all grown up. But my mission would be a futile one—inevitably, "Beat" became another inescapable radio hit—and in its failure, I discovered something unexpected: This may just be the best single of Bieber's young career. It's not the dubby flourishes or the breathy Nicki Minaj guest verse that stand out—not in an era dominated by them. Rather, it's the sense that the Biebs has finally found a pop star persona that fits. Concerned with nothing more than the girl and the music that "make my life complete," this sweet, celebratory serenade hums with a youthful cheeriness that is entirely age-appropriate. It's not poetry, but what more do you want from an 18-year-old? A-

Throwback Thursday: "Family Affair" Mary J. Blige

It's the year that gave us the enduring "bootylicious," but the greatest pop music neologism of 2001 has to be "hateration," from Mary J. Blige's "Family Affair." This Dr. Dre production is an undersung classic of the era—a jaunty, joyous celebration of good times and no more drama that never fails to get things "perculatin'" in the "dancery," to borrow two more of the song's novel lyricisms. And "hateration" so perfectly captures the essence of Blige and "Affair": playful, yet strong; slightly over-the-top, but still on point. (Just listen to her impassioned delivery run wild, frequently ignoring, but never forgetting, the staccato beat.) Best of all, it's remarkably easy to slip into everyday conversation. No hateration intended, but "bootylicious" who? A-

11 years ago this week, "Family Affair" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"My Life" 50 Cent ft. Eminem and Adam Levine

50 Cent's career has been on life support ever since his rivalry with Kanye West ended in embarrassing defeat five years ago. Could Adam Levine be the one to finally revive his fortunes? The Voice mentor features on "My Life," the lead single from 50's upcoming fifth studio album, and a performance on last night's episode of the NBC hit helped this comeback track quickly shoot to #1 on iTunes. Whether that renewed success is sustainable is another question entirely. "Life" is a surprisingly compelling bit of candid self-doubt and frustration—including a spirited guest verse from 50's own mentor, Eminem—but it's saddled with a drab hook that won't demand much attention from audiences. B

"I Cry" Flo Rida

With the release of "I Cry," his fourth single this year, it's clear that Flo Rida has established a comfortable formula. Step One: Start with an easily recognizable hook that will get audiences dancing—extra points if it's already a well-liked club hit. (This time around, he interpolates the chorus from Bingo Player's "Cry [Just a Little]," a dance remix of Brenda Russell's 1988 power ballad "Piano in the Dark.") Step Two: Add some generic rhymes that everyone will just ignore as they wait for the hook to come back. (I'm not sure what Flo Rida has against champagne buckets and chandeliers, but apparently they've got him tearing up.) Step Three: Wait for pop success. Obviously, something about the chemistry is working right, as "I Cry" recently became the rapper's fourth consecutive top ten hit on the Billboard Hot 100, but artistically, it's definitely off. Blame staleness or a bad batch—this is no "Wild Ones." C

"Woman's World" Cher

There are those pop culture legends who quit while they're ahead, in order to leave an impressive legacy untarnished. And then there's Cher, who has made so many comebacks over the course of her five-decade career than I'm beginning to suspect she'll join the cockroaches in outlasting us all. The now 66-year-old music icon appeared headed toward retirement in 2002 when she embarked on a three-year farewell tour, but it was a short-lived break from the spotlight. By 2008, she was headlining a concert residency in Las Vegas, then starring opposite Christina Aguilera in the 2010 musical Burlesque. Now, out of nowhere, Cher has debuted a new single: "Woman's World," her first release in almost a decade. Continuing the late-career transformation into club diva, it's a thumping Eurodance track produced by Paul Oakenfold. Unfortunately, this is no "Believe." Just about everything—from the I-am-woman-hear-me-roar lyrics to the heavy synth beat—falls flat from familiarity. Only Cher's powerful voice, still as deep and distinctive as ever, stands out. It should be fun to see her on stage again, camping it up to "World," but here's hoping the rest of her forthcoming 2013 album is a notch better. C+

Throwback Thursday: "Big Girls Don't Cry" The Four Seasons

The massive Broadway success of jukebox musical Jersey Boys has given a second life to the legacy of the Four Seasons, Frankie Valli's pop vocal quartet, which ran up a string of hit singles in the 1960s. Among their five #1's was "Big Girls Don't Cry," a doo-wop riff on a line from the 1956 film noir Slightly Scarlet. The short song revolves around the events of a break-up, told in chaste and slightly nonsensical detail, but it's really all about the famous titular refrain. Five decades later, the burst of falsetto harmonies that anchors "Big Girls" remains just as splendid and satisfying as ever. B

50 years ago this week, "Big Girls Don't Cry" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"Looking Hot" No Doubt

The recent controversy surrounding No Doubt's ill-advised cowboys-and-Indians video for their latest single, "Looking Hot"—which was quickly pulled after complaints from the Native American community—is the most buzz that the band's foundering comeback has had in several months. It's too bad, because the music has been solid, including the aforementioned "Hot," an infectious blast of preening dance-rock. Over a driving drum beat, Gwen Stefani wonders, "Do you think this hits the spot?" and for fans of the Orange County quartet, it's a definite yes, particularly when the ska breakdown kicks in like it's 1995 again. B

"I Knew You Were Trouble." Taylor Swift

You know dubstep has hit critical mass when even Taylor Swift is getting in on the action. The syncopated, bass-heavy EDM subgenre has been creeping into pop music for several years, but since Britney Spears' underrated "Hold It Against Me" kicked the trend into overdrive early last year, the number of wobbly breakdowns in mainstream music has exploded. They're smoothly and effectively put to use on Swift's latest pop single, "I Knew You Were Trouble.," which she debuted at last night's American Music Awards with a glitzy, production-laden performance. The wubbed-out chorus lends a bit of drama and edge to this otherwise perky lament of romantic abandonment, produced by Max Martin and Shellback. Much like the title's extraneous punctuation, the bass drops present a bold statement—of musical climax, artistic confidence, and potential new direction in the country princess' career. B+

"Scream & Shout" will.i.am ft. Britney Spears

I make no secret my general disaffinity for will.i.am, whose bloated sense of his own genius has already produced two of the year's worst songs. So imagine my surprise that "Scream & Shout," the umpteenth single from his eternally delayed album #willpower, is actually, ahem, pretty good. This sleek house track sounds like a surefire club smash, with a throbbing synth beat that is pure electro ear candy. Even better, will.i.am and his superfluous rhymes mostly take a back seat, allowing guest Britney Spears to shine in moments both absurd (an extended riff with British accent) and rapturous (a harmonious oh eh oh refrain). Plus, any reference to "Gimme More" is all right in my book. B+

Throwback Thursday: "How Do You Talk to an Angel" The Heights

Musical drama The Heights was a total flop for Fox back in 1992, but its fictional band accomplished something the Glee kids never have: a #1 hit on the Billboard Hot 100. (Two weeks later, the show was cancelled.) Unfortunately, said hit—the show's theme song, "How Do You Talk to an Angel"—has not aged gracefully in the intervening two decades. It's chock-full of the era's cheesiest soft-rock impulses: husky yet tender vocals, courtesy of Jamie Walters; ridiculously oversold conceptions of romance ("It's like trying to catch a falling star"); and, of course, sexy saxophone flourishes. That's not to say "Angel" is entirely without appeal these days (seriously, who doesn't love some sexy sax?), but it rests more on nostalgia and campy appreciation than a sense of artistic accomplishment. B-

20 years ago this week, "How Do You Talk to an Angel" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"Thrift Shop" Macklemore and Ryan Lewis ft. Wanz

Wit is an essential ingredient of hip-hop music; every great emcee should be able to eviscerate their rival with a series of stinging, yet clever, barbs. But comedy rap? That's a whole other game. Sustaining the laughs of a particularly potent punchline across an entire song is a serious challenge—not to mention the difficulty of coming up with fresh concepts, if the steadily diminishing returns of Eminem are any indication. No wonder it remains largely the domain of Internet jokesters, and the few signed professionals are mostly Jewish nerds who would normally be laughed out of the Def Jam offices. (What up to the Lonely Island!)

All of which is to say, it's impressive what indie favorite Macklemore has done on "Thrift Shop," bringing together humor and hip-hop in such legitimate fashion. This ode to bargain hunting, now getting spins on alternative and even urban radio, is more Weird Al than Jay-Z, but there's no wink-and-a-nudge to the audience. Even when the jokes land, it feels, first and foremost, like a song, rather than an SNL sketch set to music. Credit as well, then, to producer Ryan Lewis and the two great hooks he helped craft: a wildly danceable staccato saxophone beat and the super catchy chorus ("Only got twenty dollars in my pocket"). Fucking awesome, indeed. B+

"Don't You Worry Child" Swedish House Mafia ft. John Martin

Scoring the biggest crossover hit of your career—it's not a bad way to go. Just as dance music supergroup Swedish House Mafia prepares to take an indefinite hiatus, their farewell single, "Don't You Worry Child," is finding unexpected success on the pop charts. (It also recently became their third #1 club hit.) Helping the transition from dance floor to radio is a touch of pathos, evoked most prominently by vocalist John Martin. Recalling a father's advice, his ecstatic cries add an emotional texture to the otherwise fairly standard rave-up, giving a sense of deeper meaning to a listener's desire to jump along. B

"Swimming Pools (Drank)" Kendrick Lamar

Last week, good kid, m.A.A.d city, the first studio album from Compton rapper Kendrick Lamar, debuted at #2 on the Billboard 200, bolstered by the success of his bleary-eyed hit "Swimming Pools (Drank)." There's always a place in popular music for odes to alcohol, and Lamar has taken it a step further, crafting a song that feels like the deep dive into a pool of liquor that the chorus recommends. As the dark instrumental oozes along like the fuzzy processing skills of a tipsy brain, it steadily grows to match Lamar's swaggering rhymes, a boost of confidence that will surely be familiar to anyone who's ever felt a little too cool after a few too many drinks. "Pools" is a high-concept party track that still sounds mighty fine up in the club with drank in hand. B+

Throwback Thursday: "Crank That (Soulja Boy)" Soulja Boy Tell'em

Before PSY, there was Soulja Boy Tell'em, another goofy rapper with incomprehensible lyrics and a ridiculous dance craze. His breakthrough hit—amazingly, other successes followed—was "Crank That (Soulja Boy)," a seven-week #1 in the fall of 2007 thanks to a viral video and the questionable purchasing habits of teenagers. (Sound familiar?) Composed entirely of stock loops from a music-editing program for PCs, "Crank That" almost feels like the work of an idiot savant. Its spare steel-drum-and-snaps instrumental offers a surprisingly catchy hook—which is then buried under Soulja Boy's drawling, tuneless drivel. Worse songs have hit the top of Billboard charts, but for mind-numbing stupidity, "Crank That" is a real winner. C-

Five years ago this week, "Crank That (Soulja Boy)" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"Begin Again" Taylor Swift

She may be the biggest musician in the country right now, but Taylor Swift is walking a precarious artistic tightrope between widening her audience and alienating her old fans. It's a difficult balancing act for any artist, and the jury's still out on how she's managing. On the lead single from her latest album, Red, Swift went full-blown pop, earning her first #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 while simultaneously missing the top ten on country radio for the first time in her career. So it's unsurprising that follow-up release "Begin Again" is a much safer choice for the Nashville starlet, trading in bubblegum Max Martin hooks for soft acoustic guitar and softer vocals. Those yearning for the return of Swift's airy storytelling will be satisfied by this understated ballad, as sweet and detailed-oriented as any in her catalog. And despite the presence of banjos and fiddles, "Begin" never quite breaks out into twang, remaining accessible for potential crossover success. B

"Little Things" One Direction

On their exhilarating debut single, the boys from One Direction showered love upon a girl who doesn't know how she beautiful she is. Now it's become clear that they may, in fact, have something to do with that. "Little Things," their first ballad release (co-written by Ed Sheeran of "The A Team" fame), spends three-and-a-half painfully intimate minutes pointing out all the supposed flaws that cause the unnamed leading lady's self-doubt—freckles, crinkly eyes, chubby stomach—before doubling back with a simple "But I'll love them endlessly" and "You're perfect to me." Uh-uh, guys, it doesn't work like that. Best keep those thoughts to yourself next time—even if you feel the urge to express them via stripped-down acoustic guitar arrangement and supple man-on-man harmonies (complete with a self-serious black-and-white video to match). D+

"Little Talks" Of Monsters and Men

Every once in a while, a hit song completely passes you by. Such was the case with the whimsical, propulsive "Little Talks," the debut single from Icelandic indie rock outfit Of Monsters and Men. I heard it for the first time last week, as I was scanning past on the radio, and I was immediately struck by its tender coed harmonies and blasting trumpet. In the excitement of my discovery, I failed to realize how late to the game I was; "Talks" reached the top of Billboard's alternative chart this summer. But better late than never, I suppose. The song's juxtaposition of melancholy storytelling—that of a woman talking to her recently deceased husband—against energetic, six-piece revelry (punctuated by celebratory cheers) is a stunner, evoking a gorgeous, cathartic swirl of pain and joy. It would have been a shame to miss this one altogether. A

Throwback Thursday: "Candle in the Wind 1997" Elton John

Following the car crash that killed his close friend, Princess Diana, Sir Elton John released "Candle in the Wind 1997," a reimagining of his 1973 ode to Marilyn Monroe. It quickly went on to become the biggest single of all time, a monster smash that sold over 33 million copies worldwide and spent 14 weeks at #1 in the U.S. Tied, as it is, so innately to the tragedy that is describes, "Wind 1997" is a much more emotional tribute than the original. But it's also a less musically interesting song, lacking the heft of the '73 version's bluesy electric guitar, choral harmonies and percussion section. Performed only once, at Diana's funeral, it scales down to primarily John and a piano, drifting along to its demure conclusion. That said, John's perfectly expressed sentiment—reverential, but not syrupy; grief that is gracefully palpable, but not overwrought—is a standout in pop music's long history of honoring legends. B

15 years ago this week, "Candle in the Wind 1997" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"Ho Hey" The Lumineers

Like so many crossover hits this year, the success of the Lumineers' "Ho Hey" is largely due to the attention it garnered in a television ad campaign for Microsoft's Bing search engine this summer. Last month, it completed an ascent to #1 on the rock and alternative charts, and now this lovely, gentle slice of indie folk is gaining momentum on pop radio. Built on crowd-pleasing punctuations of ho and hey, the song radiates an understated joy ("I belong with you, you belong with me/You're my sweetheart," Wesley Schultz casually sings during the refrain) that lifts the spirits. Listeners will enjoy wrapping themselves in the warm banjo melody during the coming winter months. A-

"Va Va Voom" Nicki Minaj

Though originally intended as the lead single from Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded, "Va Va Voom" was scrapped for "Starships" and is just now seeing a release to radio. While better than any of Reloaded's other pop singles thus far, "Voom" also features Nicki Minaj at her most anonymous ever, worked during post-production until she sounds like a singing computer, with none of her signature outrageous raps to distinguish her. The blaring mush of synths and drum machine beats is appealingly club-ready, but "Voom" could belong to any of Dr. Luke's disciples. That's not a path Minaj wants to go down; the quickest way to kill a career is to become unnecessary. B

"Oath" Cher Lloyd ft. Becky G

Brat-pop princess Cher Lloyd has been one of my favorite new artists this year. Her breakout hit, "Want U Back," was among the summer's best, utterly charming in its grunting impudence toward an ex. Follow-up "Oath" trades sass for sweetness, losing some of Lloyd's cheeky allure in the process, but even professing love and devotion, she oozes a playful swagger that is instantly beguiling. Over a bouncy hook, Lloyd cherishes the fun she's had with her boyfriend, including the time they "crashed your dad's new car," and it's refreshing to hear a 19-year-old singer acting her age (take note, Justin Bieber). Guest Becky G is a flavorless non-entity; attempting to bite Lloyd's style, she mistakes quirky vocal delivery for having a personality. B

Throwback Thursday: "Bad" Michael Jackson

Aiming for an edgier image and sound, Michael Jackson took the reigns of his seventh studio album, Bad, diving further into rock influences and dark subject matter. On the title track—written, composed and co-produced by Jackson himself—he attempts a transformation into tough guy, threatening to "take you right" and "hurt your mind" over a funky bass riff. It's an invigoratingly peppy pop song, with an emphatic chorus that practically demands the listener join in the self-worship, but the sensitive Jackson is clearly playing dress-up in his bad-boy attitude. Cooing his way through sneering provocations, "Bad" comes across as more West Side Story than Boyz N the Hood. B+

25 years ago this week, "Bad" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"Madness" Muse

Known for dark, brooding artistry and an intergalactic scope, Muse is a gleefully outsized presence in today's indie-dominated rock music scene. The British trio's latest single, "Madness," currently reigning at #1 on Billboard's alternative chart, remains a little more earthbound than their signature hits, grounded in emotional restraint, but it keeps the drama alive with a slow-burning electro prog-rock trip. Building from a burbling bass line, through the stuttering refrain and into a revelatory climax that bursts forth to the heavens, the song is a thrilling depiction of the titular lovesickness. A-

"Anything Could Happen" Ellie Goulding

It's been a great year on the Hot 100 for foreign artists, who have ruled the chart for half of 2012 thanks in large part to Canada's Carly Rae Jepsen and Australia's Gotye. Also among the notables is quirky Brit Ellie Goulding, making her own impressive run to #2 this summer with sleeper hit "Lights," originally released in July 2011 and now the owner of several longevity records. She's back with "Anything Can Happen," a synth-y love song with retro sensibilities that serves as the lead single from her sophomore effort, Halcyon. Its jaunty midtempo bounce and cheerful message are pleasant enough, but except for the ethereal post-chorus chanting, "Happen" lacks the urgent energy that made "Lights" so immediately grabbing. B

"The A Team" Ed Sheeran

Everybody loves a good tragedy once in a while; that's what's kept Romeo and Juliet alive in high school theaters across the country and propelled Adele to diamond sales of 21. So watch for the imminent success of Ed Sheeran's "The A Team," a delicate portrait of a woman's harrowing descent into drug addiction and prostitution. A hit in the singer-songwriter's native Britain last year, it is now taking off in the U.S., where the lilting melody and gritty subject matter have already pushed it toward the top ten of adult contemporary and rock radio. Wrapped in an inviting acoustic guitar riff, "A Team" is a stinging cipher, slowly revealing the depths of its grim reality. It's the best kind of downer: an unexpected sucker punch to the gut—and one that bruises all the more with knowledge of its inevitability. A

Throwback Thursday: "A Moment Like This" Kelly Clarkson

Where would American Idol be without "A Moment Like This"? Though an immediate cultural sensation upon its debut in the summer of 2002, the grandaddy of reality talent competitions arguably would not have survived a decade as television's biggest show if it hadn't proved itself a legitimate platform for launching a music superstar. Launch a superstar it did, however, in the form of inaugural winner Kelly Clarkson, whose debut single made a then record-breaking jump to the top of the Billboard Hot 100 in its third week of release.

Among Idol coronation songs, a notoriously terrible bunch, "Moment" is also the best (save this year's "Home" by Phillip Phillips, spared the indignity of inspirational treacle). That is perhaps the lucky result of its early place in Idol history, before the string of increasingly cringe-worthy anthems about The Journey. With its nods to destined romance and "that one special kiss," "Moment" is really just a love song in the Whitney-Mariah-Celine grand melisma tradition. Of course, having Clarkson touch on those themes in the context of winning a reality show is slightly odd, but against a backdrop of swelling strings, the sentiments play nicely, if a little empty. B

10 years ago this week, "A Moment Like This" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"Sweet Nothing" Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch

He's got a keen sensibility for crafting club-bangers, but what distinguishes Calvin Harris—and has turned him into pop music's latest producer-of-the-moment—is the ability to inject his EDM creations with a deeper emotional authenticity. Though that's not always the case (as evidenced by this summer's flat "Let's Go"), "Sweet Nothing," a new collaboration between the Scottish DJ and British songstress Florence Welch, rings with vivid pain and heartbreak. Much of that credit is due to Welch, an incredible performer of music, who elevates her amorous defeat into something approaching spiritual crisis. But her passion is matched by Harris, conducting an overlay of synth loops both heavy and vibrant that reflects the song's clash of confusing emotions. B+

"Feel Again" OneRepublic

Since 2007's breakout smash "Apologize," Colorado quintet OneRepublic have been adult contemporary radio's go-to group for mellow meditations on love and life. It's a sleepy niche, suitable for calmer rush-hour commutes but not exactly brimming with exciting artistry. So how refreshing to hear Ryan Tedder and his bandmates put a little more pep in their step on "Feel Again," the lead single from their upcoming third studio album, Native. Featuring aching vocals, a tambourine and hand claps galore, it's a sort of white-boy gospel revival love song—reminiscent of the Killers' "All These Things That I've Done"—that truly invigorates the listener as it pulses with celebratory passion. A-

"Try" Pink

On "Try," the second single from her latest album, The Truth About Love, Pink veers away from her typical fist-pumping pop-rock sound. Perhaps softened by motherhood (daughter Willow Sage is a year old), Pink is sentimental—dare I even say, forgiving—as she reflects on getting over a soured relationship. (There is no rock star posturing or bitter name-calling in sight.) The new demeanor works for Pink, whose husky voice has always been well suited to raw expressions of heartbreak and her troubled youth. But "Try" is ultimately let down by its production, which overwhelms such a tender sentiment with harsh power balladry. B-

Throwback Thursday: "I Gotta Feeling" Black Eyed Peas

There's an elusive alchemy to crafting a hit song. One must find the right blend of trendy sounds, distinctive artistry and cultural buzz—and then hope for a little bit of luck (or payola) to take it the top of the charts. All those elements came together in perfect unison for the Black Eyed Peas in 2009, when "I Gotta Feeling" spent an astounding 14 weeks at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100, becoming the first song to sell over 7 million digital downloads in the process. How?, one may be inclined to wonder upon reflection. "Feeling" is certainly no work of pop genius, despite its liberal appropriation of Bar Mitzvah vernacular. But when has that ever been a problem for mainstream audiences? Following the explosive success of Lady Gaga, as well as BEP's impressive 12-week run at #1 with "Boom Boom Pow" just prior, their dance-pop party anthem was naturally poised to be the soundtrack of the summer (and beyond). Besides, in the dark, this throwaway B-level debauchery becomes an A-worthy exaltation of those cherished hazy memories.

Three years ago this week, "I Gotta Feeling" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"Catch My Breath" Kelly Clarkson

Kelly Clarkson has spent the better part of the last half-decade trying to recreate the magic of "Since U Been Gone." After the nearly career-ending flop of 2007's dark and angry My December, she has slowly climbed her way back to the top of the charts with a string of power-pop anthems clearly inspired by that Max Martin/Dr. Luke-penned smash. Results have ranged from lackluster copycats ("My Life Would Suck Without You") to spirited reimaginings ("Stronger [What Doesn't Kill You]," a #1 hit earlier this year), but none has reached the euphoric satisfaction of "Gone," which remains one of the best songs of the 2000s.

"Catch My Breath," the first single from Clarkson's forthcoming greatest hits collection, falls toward the latter end of that spectrum. Floating on airy synths, it doesn't invite immediate comparison to the grittier rock edge of "Gone." Then the enormous chorus kicks in. Nominally a reflection on her life since winning American Idol ten years ago, Clarkson's wails of "catching my breath" could just as easily work as another of the feeling good now that you're gone post-breakup kiss-offs that have been her bread and butter. "Breath" is not a bad song, but it's very basic, just going to prove that old adage: Sequels rarely improve upon the original. B

"Adorn" Miguel

It's no secret that R&B music is going through a bit of a rough patch right now. (Look no further than the top ten of Billboard's R&B chart last week, which featured only one song that has cracked the top thirty of the Hot 100.) So it's nice to see an artist like Miguel still committed to the genre—and making great music to boot—even as his peers reach for new ways to stay relevant in a difficult industry climate. His current #1 hit, "Adorn," is steeped in tradition, built on a relaxed groove reminiscent of '70s soul. It also has a delightful warmth about it, radiating simple but infectious joy as Miguel promises to celebrate his woman. That kind of good feeling—not the artificial satisfaction of party anthems, but genuine love—could stand to make a comeback of its own on radio. Maybe Miguel is just the saving grace R&B has been waiting for. A-

"Skyfall" Adele

It's been 50 years since Bond, James Bond, first graced the silver screen, and in celebration, Adele yesterday released "Skyfall," the theme song from the series' upcoming 23rd film of the same name. In contrast to recent efforts by the likes of Madonna and Chris Cornell, the track forgoes contemporary trends and action movie pacing for a more classically Bondian vibe. Backed by a lush 77-piece orchestra and a sample of Monty Norman's iconic original 007 theme, Adele is sultry and evocative, recalling those great Shirley Bassey tunes of yesteryear. The stately elegance of "Skyfall," however, is unlikely to leave listeners much shaken or stirred. B+

Throwback Thursday: "Total Eclipse of the Heart" Bonnie Tyler

A prevalent theme of 1980s popular culture is BIG: the hair, the technology, and of course, the power ballads. From Journey's tale of a small town girl living in a lonely world to Foreigner's searing inquiry into what love is, cheesy epics were standard fare in pop music—and perhaps none is greater than the glorious slice of Velveeta that is Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart." Featuring a boys' choir, an extended organ solo and lines like "Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears," the song is utterly over-the-top, heightening the drama at every turn until it threatens to topple into bombastic nonsense. And yet it doesn't, because Tyler is so fully committed to the wild emotional ride that her climactic explosions of voracious passion keep the insanity aloft. Under the care of her powerful pipes, it all makes perfect sense. To paraphrase the chorus, desperate yearning and pop grandiosity can never be wrong together. A

29 years ago this week, "Total Eclipse of the Heart" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"50 Ways to Say Goodbye" Train

Admittedly, Train is not my favorite band; the goofy, relentlessly peppy brand of mom rock on which their recent career has soared is like my anathema. But surely "50 Ways to Say Goodbye" is some sort of low, even for them. Never mind that it sounds just like a mariachi-ized version of "Drive By"—Train's last single and one of the year's most annoying hits—because why not?! The true pain resides in the song's utterly witless central joke: lead singer Pat Monahan can't accept that his girlfriend dumped him, so he'll tell everyone that she died in absurdly extravagant fashion. Hilarious! I can't blame her for leaving. D-

"Locked Out of Heaven" Bruno Mars

Forget the singles artists (that means you, Flo Rida) and the fading veterans (sorry, Usher!). What the music industry needs right now is a true male pop star, and Bruno Mars—whose debut album, Doo-Wops and Hooligans, earned platinum sales, two #1 hits and six Grammy nominations—is probably the closest we have. Mars has distinguished himself over the past two years, both as a writer and a performer, for his ability to make retro influences feel strikingly current. That sensibility is on full display in new single "Locked Out of Heaven," the first from his sophomore effort, Unorthodox Jukebox. Featuring a reggae-fied New Wave inflection, it sounds like a lost Police track, updated for the 21st century with the occasional electronic touch. Mars sells it with a darkly alluring urgency that suggests this is exactly what pop radio has been missing. He's especially fantastic on the middle eight, wailing in tortured ecstasy as though he's just discovered the greatest pleasure he can never have. A-

"Live While We're Young" One Direction

How does one rebel against teen pop stardom without losing an ounce of mom-approved accessibility? Just ask the adorable British moppets of One Direction. "Live While We're Young," the lead single from their second studio album (what, already?!), Take Me Home, is another bouncy guitar ditty...full of barely-veiled references to having a one-night stand with a stranger. Lines like "I know we only met/but let's pretend it's love" are not exactly appropriate for the group's core audience, but they'll pass right over the heads of tween girls too busy rocking out to the rousing "woah oh ohs." The rest of us will just have to look past the inherent skeeviness—or miss out on some awesome cowbell. B

Throwback Thursday: "I'll Make Love to You" Boyz II Men

Though it was the battle between the Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync that dominated the zeitgeist (BSB 4EVA!), the title for biggest boy band of the '90s might actually belong to Boyz II Men, who harmonized their way to more than 20 million albums sold and three of the longest-running #1 hits of all time. Among those signature smashes is "I'll Make Love to You," an R&B power ballad that spent an astounding 14 weeks atop the Billboard Hot 100 and lives on as the soundtrack to countless slow dances at proms and weddings. It's an appropriately sterile legacy for what is possibly one of the least sexy sex jams ever recorded. Despite some fairly explicit references to where things are headed ("Throw your clothes on the floor/I'm gonna take my clothes off, too"), the song's booming grandeur is hardly carnal—more suitable for an epic declaration of love than a proposition to get it on. There's a sense of intimacy missing from "I'll Make Love," especially as the chorus bursts with the rich vocals of all four Men, suggesting a whole other kind of entanglement. B-

18 years ago this week, "I'll Make Love to You" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"Diamonds" Rihanna

As sure as children go back to school and the leaves change color, each fall brings a new Rihanna album. Yesterday, she announced her fourth straight November release (and seventh studio effort in as many years), which was followed today by the debut of lead single, "Diamonds," an aspiring lovers' anthem that falls short with its insipidly repetitive lyrics. On the plus side, the midtempo groove is a refreshing change of pace for the Barbadian pop star; given the opportunity to dig at something a little deeper, she bears flashes of the soul that was frequently missing from her extended foray into dance floor divadom. But there are only so many times that one can hear Rihanna bizarrely sing the line "Shine bright like a diamond" as though she learned it phonetically (hint: much fewer than the 24 times she does it in the song) before this rough gem starts to lose its luster. B-

"Die Young" Ke$ha

Here's something you probably never thought you'd hear: Ke$ha is better than this. In that sense, she's surprised us all with "Die Young," the disappointing lead single from her upcoming second studio album, Warrior. It's pretty much the only way in which the song surprises. Throwing together all the typical ingredients of a Ke$ha track—massive Dr. Luke hook, party-like-nothing-else-matters lyrics, Auto-Tune galore—"Young" feels entirely too expected, as though she's pandering to fans for a guaranteed hit. Ke$ha's party girl antics and "garbage chic" style have previously been the inspiration for some legitimately great pop music (yes, they have; just admit it), but this "Tik Tok" rehash is stale like leftover beer the morning after a kegger. C

"This Kiss" Carly Rae Jepsen

By far my favorite music trend of 2012 is the bubblegum pop revival. From the Backstreet Boys to Britney Spears, the genre was the soundtrack to my youth, and I can't help but smile hearing it blast again from the radio as One Direction tells me how beautiful I don't know I am. Leading the charge, at least in my book, is Canadian sensation Carly Rae Jepsen, who has brought so much joy to my ears this year with songs like "Call Me Maybe" and the appropriately-titled "Good Time." Her latest single, the cheery, chirpy "This Kiss," keeps the streak alive with an irresistible '80s mall-pop vibe that would make Tiffany proud. Its artificial sound—synthy keyboard hook, staccato drum machine claps, playful dashes of Vocoder—is the perfect driving music for a night out on the neon-lit town. B+

Throwback Thursday: "Unpretty" TLC

In recent years, a spate of "it gets better" dance anthems have proved hugely successful for just about every major pop diva around. But none of them has matched the poignancy or heart of TLC's self-empowerment opus "Unpretty," which was warning girls against the dangers of society's unfair beauty standards—and the boys who buy into them—long before Lady Gaga was even a twinkle in pop music's eye. What distinguishes "Unpretty" is its candid vulnerability. Rather than floating above the self-doubting misery of it all on bursting synths and soaring vocals (à la recent hits like "Firework" and "Born This Way"), it is grounded in melancholy confessions and inviting harmonies that give the listener a true empathetic hook. The song becomes an opportunity for honest self-reflection and emotional confrontation, not just the soundtrack to a hot night out at the club, and that makes the ebullient affirmation of the chorus feel all the more enlightened and sincere. The result is a genuinely uplifting musical experience—one in which the final, blissful electric guitar solo seems to carry you away into a state of cathartic peace. A

13 years ago this week, "Unpretty" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"9th Inning"/"Triple Threat" Missy Elliott ft. Timbaland

In the seven years since Missy Elliott last dropped a new album, the music industry has seen radical shifts in its economic and artistic landscape. So when Elliott announced over Labor Day weekend that she was finally debuting two new singles from her seventh studio effort, Block Party, it was a moment of both excitement and apprehension for fans: Would Missy deliver the goods? Was there even still a place for her in the current rap game? On "9th Inning," Elliott (with assistance from longtime collaborator Timbaland) laughs off such questions, plotting her imminent return to the top of the charts over a racing piano arpeggio. She goes even further on "Triple Threat"—the superior track for its skittering, spacey, classically Timbo production—promising to "slap whoever said I'm irrelevant." Whether audiences are equally ready to re-embrace Elliott as rap's premier female emcee is to be seen; neither "Inning" nor "Threat" is as mind-bendingly catchy as her signature hits. But both have an authentic hip-hop vision that should leave Nicki Minaj quaking slightly in her stilettos—and hopefully stepping up her game. "9th Inning": B/"Triple Threat": A-

"Your Body" Christina Aguilera

Twice before, Christina Aguilera has launched a new album with a sexified makeover, and twice before, her "XXXtina" persona has been met with swift public rejection. (In 2002, Stripped's lead single, "Dirrty," tanked on the charts, while "Not Myself Tonight"...well, I'm sure Aguilera would rather forget 2010's Bionic altogether.) So it makes perfect sense that the first release from Lotus—her upcoming fifth studio album and much-hyped comeback following a high-profile stint on NBC's The Voice—features Aguilera screaming, "All I want to do is fuck your body!" Indeed, this is exactly what America has been yearning to hear from the big-voiced diva and 31-year-old mother. Yet there is an undeniable trashy appeal to "Your Body," which finds Aguilera following her peers into the radio-friendly waters of producers Martin and Shellback. Its slow-burning groove has a seductive sleaziness about it that should rile listeners into questionable fits of self-worship just in time for the chorus—so raunchy and hard-hitting and loud—to explode in their faces. It's like a regrettable one-night stand that you can't help but secretly kind of enjoy—and isn't that what great pop music is all about? B-

"The Boys" Nicki Minaj ft. Cassie

These days, you can blink and you'll miss another new Nicki Minaj single. Just weeks after releasing the candy-colored video for "I Am Your Leader," she's already back with "The Boys," a peppy girl-power collaboration that heralds the November re-release of her second album, Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded (now appended The Re-Up, an exorbitant mouthful of a title if I've ever heard one). "Boys" once again melds Minaj's hip-hop roots with her pop sensibilities—the most successfully that she's done so since "Super Bass"—jumping between winning rap punchlines ("I just come through with the Six like my name was Blossom") and a snappy, biting hook sung by R&B songstress Cassie. The problem is that the song is also kind of annoying, buried under a plethora of distractions, including inexplicable gunfire sound effects and inhuman levels of vocal distortion. B-

Throwback Thursday: "SexyBack" Justin Timberlake

Two years before Lady Gaga first p-p-p-poked her face into the national spotlight, Justin Timberlake was already laying the groundwork for the dance-pop explosion with his sophomore solo album, FutureSex/LoveSounds. Full of brilliant urban-electro mash-ups, the Grammy-winning effort was like a gateway drug for all the pulsing synths and racing BPM to come. No dose was stronger than lead single "SexyBack," the highly addictive club banger that kick-started a phenomenon so massive even Prince felt compelled to comment on it. Combining a driving industrial beat with the forceful, almost primal, dance floor command to "Get your sexy on!," this Timbaland production was unlike anything pop music had ever heard before—and still sounds as though it's being transmitted from a gritty underground rave twenty years in the future. It's too bad little else since has lived up to its promise. A

Six years ago this week, "SexyBack" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"Sorry" Ciara

She was once the Princess of Crunk&B, now she can barely get an album released, but I stay rooting for Ciara. Whether due to the technical wizardry of brilliant producers or the compelling slinkiness of her limited vocals, she has given us some of the best R&B songs of the last decade, from the gritty bop of "Oh!" to sultry bedroom jam "Promise." New single "Sorry," from Ciara's upcoming fifth studio album, One Woman Army, doesn't reach those epic heights, but its retro vibe and no-frills production are a refreshing contrast to the current pop scene. Couples looking for the soundtrack to their make-up sex will appreciate the track's gently undulating musical peaks and emotional climaxes. Plus, who doesn't love a sexy saxophone? B+

"Clique" Kanye West ft. Big Sean and Jay-Z

I was lukewarm on "Mercy," the first single from G.O.O.D. Music's upcoming Cruel Summer, when it premiered in April, but the hypnotic rap track has slowly grown into one of my favorite songs of the year. Follow-up "Clique," on the other hand, makes an instant impact; its heavy drumbeat, blustering hook and in-your-face swagger form a hip-hop battle cry that should be impossible for enemies (and mixtape emcees) to ignore. Elder statesman Jay-Z doesn't serve up his best work, spending too much time taking roll, but Kanye West throws down enough witty lines to keep things interesting and Big Sean steals the show with his forceful opening verse. Indeed, this is one clique not to be fucked with. B+

"Girl On Fire" Alicia Keys ft. Nicki Minaj

Don't call it a comeback—or a Hunger Games reference. Alicia Keys insisted as much when she debuted her new song, "Girl On Fire," at the Video Music Awards last night. Serving as the lead single from her upcoming fifth studio album of the same name, it's perfectly adequate power R&B, offering heightened drama, passionate vocals and soulful runs. Unfortunately, "Fire" lacks the catchy sizzle of previous Keys showstoppers like "If I Ain't Got You" and "No One"; it feels more like album filler than a potential smash that will reignite her career after a two-year hiatus. The blandly inspirational imagery, in particular, underwhelms without any apparent connection to Keys' own experiences. Delivering two forgettable guest verses, Nicki Minaj has never felt like such a gratuitous presence on a track (nope, not even on "Give Me All Your Luvin'"). B

Throwback Thursday: "Venus" Bananarama

From the Spice Girls to Girls Aloud, the British are masters of the female pop group. Practically a national pastime these days, it's a phenomenon that has its modern roots in the 1980s, when all-girl band Bananarama updated—and revived—a decades-old tradition by focusing more on dance sounds than doo wop harmonies. Emerging from the London punk scene, this trio of childhood friends went on to produce some of the decade's most memorable pop hits, including "Venus," a cover of Shocking Blue's 1969 chart-topper. While the early synthesizer production sounds hopelessly of its time, the song's famous refrain ("I'm your Venus/I'm your fire/Your desire") still holds immense appeal, driven primarily by Bananarama's unique unison singing, which creates a big sound bursting with attitude. It's no wonder the line lives on as the soundtrack to razor commercials. B

26 years ago this week, "Venus" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"Gangnam Style" PSY

First came the crazy dance that sparked a viral sensation. Then "Gangnam Style," Korean rapper PSY's electro house ode to Seoul's trendiest district, started climbing the iTunes chart. Could it be that we finally have our "Crank That" for the dance-pop era? Like Soulja Boy's 2007 hit, which spent seven weeks at #1 on the Hot 100, the success of "Style" is somewhat perplexing. Sure, the candy-colored music video is an enjoyably absurd romp, but the song doesn't offer much in the way of musical value. The meager charms of its "Oppan Gangnam style!" hook are swallowed up by a synth assault—which probably feels better on the body than it sounds to the ear—and any redeeming wit gets lost in translation. There's a lack of credibility that instantly dates "Style" as a novelty party hit. That's unlikely to stop the fun any time soon, but just beware, PSY: The fate of the Macarena awaits you in the annals of history. D-

"Dive" Usher

Judging by his latest album, Looking 4 Myself, it would seem that Usher is undergoing some sort of identity crisis. Nearly two decades into a career full of multi-platinum sales and crossover hits, it is less apparent than ever who the 33-year-old star is as an artist. Though once (not unconvincingly) hailed as Michael Jackson's successor, Usher's musical output now consists of a dishearteningly market-tested mash-up of radio-ready dance-pop—which boosted his sagging profile back in 2010—and the R&B ballads that were his bread and butter.

If I could make one suggestion to help Usher sort things out, it would be to drop the stale synths and focus more on soulful numbers like this summer's exquisite "Climax" and new single "Dive," another sexy bedroom jam. The falsetto runs and heavy-handed central metaphor are nothing new to his repertoire, but they showcase Usher at his best: as a master of seductive sensitivity. If you're going to stick to a formula, pick the right one. A-

"Push and Shove" No Doubt

Before the release of "Push and Shove," the second single from No Doubt's upcoming sixth studio album of the same name, bassist Tony Kanal called it "our 'Bohemian Rhapsody.'" That's a bold claim for any band to make, since Queen's 1976 hit remains one of the most beloved and acclaimed songs in rock history—but the comparison is not off base. Though it follows a more standard structure than "Rhapsody," "Shove" similarly ignores conventions of genre and tempo, shooting from bouncing dancehall verses to a power-pop chorus heavy with towering passion, all of which dovetails by track's end. It's an ambitious composition that is bound to produce a divisive reaction, but for this fan, it represents one of the most satisfyingly wild (and wildly satisfying) mainstream singles this year. A

Throwback Thursday: "The Loco-Motion" Little Eva

Only nine songs in history have reached the top of the Billboard Hot 100 multiple times, including Little Eva's classic 1962 boogie "The Loco-Motion," which was followed to #1 in 1975 by Grand Funk Railroad's rockified cover. (Another version, from Aussie pop starlet Kylie Minogue, almost repeated the feat in 1988, but peaked at #3.) Though describing the steps to a non-existent dance craze is a simple, even silly, conceit for a song, "The Loco-Motion" has survived as a party favorite for five decades because of its timeless feel-good vibe. From the opening horn blares to the hand claps and doo wop harmonies, the track exudes an infectious joy that makes it almost impossible not to swing your hips and jump up and back right along with Little Eva. It's a testament to Gerry Goffin and Carole King's writing that the sentiment has translated so well across genres and generations. A

50 years ago this week, "The Loco-Motion" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"Finally Found You" Enrique Iglesias ft. Sammy Adams

In early 2010, Enrique Iglesias was at the forefront of the dance-pop revival with his hit "I Like It," a Jersey Shore favorite that revived the Latin heartthrob's waning career. Two years later, new single "Finally Found You" feels like a non-event amongst the ensuing glut of similarly techno-inspired tracks—just as Iglesias himself fades comfortably into the song's pounding synths, layered and Auto-Tuned into a nearly unrecognizable singing computer. "Found" provides enough fist-pumping enjoyment to make for a serviceable club jam, but its generic brand of building and bursting electro euphoria is quickly becoming boring. C

"No Lie" 2 Chainz ft. Drake

After early buzz surrounding Tyga and a heap of critical acclaim for Frank Ocean, it appears that the breakout hip-hop star of 2012 will actually be 2 Chainz, the Atlanta rapper who made a name for himself this year with his pronounced delivery and collaborations with the likes of Nicki Minaj and Kanye West. His own debut single as a lead artist, "No Lie," is an addictive brag track that recently hit #1 on the Billboard rap charts. It's not elegant, but 2 Chainz wins you over with his raw, in-your-face energy, chewing up the menacing beat in his leaden style. Drake is much more graceful delivering the catchy hook; unfortunately, his guest verse is full of unnecessarily misogynistic boasts of sexual conquest. B+

"I Am Your Leader" Nicki Minaj ft. Rick Ross and Cam'ron

While not as instantly catchy as her best performances, Nicki Minaj's new urban single, "I Am Your Leader," represents a nice return to form for the female emcee, who has felt increasingly like an empty pop star in recent months. Rapping over a cascading robo-beat, Minaj commands the track, droping punch lines with a boastful wit that was missing from generic party jams like "Starships" and "Pound the Alarm." Rick Ross and Cam'ron turn in game guest verses, though ultimately, "Leader" feels more like a group of friends playing around in the studio than a fully-formed track. A-

Throwback Thursday: "I'll Be Missing You" Puff Daddy, Faith Evans and 112

Music history is littered with brilliant artists whose lives and careers were sadly cut short, but there's something particularly tragic about the senseless murder of rapper The Notorious B.I.G. in a 1997 drive-by shooting. Still unsolved to this day, the most closure fans have ever gotten in the case is probably (the artist formerly known as) Puff Daddy's Grammy-winning rap dirge "I'll Be Missing You," which debuted less than three months after Biggie's death and went on to spend 11 weeks at #1. Representing the height of Puffy's much-criticized "over-sampling," the song is a complete reappropriation of the Police's creepy classic "Every Breath You Take"; their instrumentals are identical and the chorus of "Missing," sung by B.I.G.'s widow, Faith Evans, changes nothing but the lyrics. Of course, if you're going to use someone else's work, you might as well take from the best. Andy Summers' melancholy guitar riff and Sting's iconic melody still shine through the basic rhymes and gospel flourishes, providing a solid base on which to build a loving (if somewhat lackluster) tribute to a dearly departed friend. B-

15 years ago this week, "I'll Be Missing You' was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"Parking Lot" Nelly Furtado

With just under a month to go until the release of The Spirit Indestructible, buzz is practically non-existent for Nelly Furtado's fifth studio album. Lead single "Big Hoops (Bigger the Better)" flopped into obscurity and Furtado's camp has barely made a peep since then. Another new song, "Parking Lot," premiered yesterday, and the booming stomp-and-clap beat and sing-talk vocal style sound straight out of 2006's Loose. While that may have worked for the Canadian pop star in the urban-oriented music scene of the mid-aughties, it's hard to imagine that "Parking Lot" will make much headway in a radio climate now dominated by dance influences. Furtado has always been a quirky chameleon and she pulls off the track's retro swag—including a '60s girl group vibe on the post-chorus na na nas—but I fear not many will have the chance to enjoy it. B

"Oh Love" Green Day

As they prepare to release three new studio albums this fall and winter, Green Day have spent the last month perched atop the Billboard rock chart with "Oh Love," their first single in more than two years. Peeling away the layers of theatricality and protest that featured prominently on the group's last two albums (the epic saga of American Idiot and 21st Century Breakdown, turned into a hit Broadway musical in 2010), "Oh Love" feels like a throwback to the Green Day of yore, full of heavy guitar and slacker ambition. Yet the rebel spirit has not been completely abandoned amongst less charged subject matter, judging by the witty imagery of the chorus ("I'm wearing my heart on a noose"). Now if only there had been a little more editing; after five minutes, the song's peppy punch loses steam. B

"I Was Here" Beyoncé

Just about every big-voiced female singer in the last three decades has worked with Diane Warren at some point; it's practically a diva rite of passage. So it was only a matter of time until Beyoncé—the closest this generation has to a Whitney or Mariah—took her turn, collaborating with the veteran songwriter on power ballad "I Was Here" from last year's 4. As Diane Warren shlockfests go, this one is a remarkably genuine affair. Though the lyrics are as maudlin as ever ("The hearts that I touched will be the proof that I leave/that I made a difference"), Beyoncé sells the sentiment fully, never abandoning performance in favor of vocal showboating like so many of her forebears. (That passion can become melodramatic at times, even cheesy, but it seems almost selfish to complain about a singer who wants you to feel her emotions too much.) For a cause like today's United Nations World Humanitarian Day, "Here" is the perfect choice of charity single, hitting all the right thematic notes without sacrificing the entertainment value that audiences seek in songs they might actually listen to more than once. B+

"Heart Skips a Beat" Olly Murs ft. Chiddy Bang

And it's on to the next one. Following in the footsteps of Cher Lloyd and tourmates One Direction, Olly Murs is yet another young veteran of the UK's X Factor making the jump across the pond. Marketed at the rabid tween base that launched 1D into the stratosphere, Murs will probably appeal more to the Wanted crowd, at least based on his debut single "Heart Skips a Beat," which recently climbed into the top thirty on pop radio. Veering into unrequited obsession territory, it's a darker, hip-hop-inflected track that lacks the satisfying charm of, say, "What Makes You Beautiful." But with minor-chord synths and moments of hard-hitting beats, "Heart" provides a bit of edge that audiences might be craving at the end of a long, frothy summer. B+

Throwback Thursday: "Eye of the Tiger" Survivor

"Eye of the Tiger," the theme from Rocky III, seems to be one of those songs for the ages—a rock anthem that lives on through perpetual use in sporting events, political campaigns and national television commercials. Commissioned for the film after Sylvester Stallone was unable to secure the rights to "Another One Bites the Dust," Survivor's biggest hit isn't nearly as good as that Queen classic, but it gets the job done on blood-pumping, head-banging inspiration. Frankie Sullivan's brash guitar riff is definitely an attention-getter, and the towering chorus in undeniably stirring in the right context. B

30 years ago this week, "Eye of the Tiger" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" Taylor Swift

After Taylor Swift surprised the world with a brand new song yesterday, it shot to the top of iTunes in such record-breaking fashion (less than an hour!) that it will almost surely guarantee Swift her first trip to the top of Billboard Hot 100 next week. Too bad, since it's also probably the most disappointing release of her short career. "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together," from Swift's upcoming fourth studio album, Red, is what we might politely refer to as a "sellout." Working for the first time with a co-writer, Swedish mega-producer Max Martin, she leaves behind any remaining semblance of her country roots and jumps full force into sassy Avril Lavigne territory—a brazen move that proves to be seriously underwhelming. Never mind that "Never Ever" feels like a huge step back from the the breakthroughs in maturity and artistry found on Speak Now. If you're going to have Max Martin write a hook for you, at least make sure it's really catchy. C+

"This Is Love" will.i.am ft. Eva Simons

It's almost comical how inept will.i.am's effort to launch a successful solo career have been. But the mastermind behind one of the biggest musical groups on Earth seems to be impressively tone deaf to good taste and public desire these days. Now on to the third single from his as-yet-unreleased album, #willpower, he's still searching for that elusive hit by throwing out over-the-top techno-rap productions and seeing if they'll stick. Like its predecessors, "This Is Love" has failed to make an impact with pop or club audiences since its release earlier this summer and it's no wonder; will.i.am's Auto-Tuned rhymes are just as amateurish as ever and the song will melt your brain with its non-stop spectacle. The one saving grace is the massively hook-y refrain, sung by Dutch pop star Eva Simons. C-

"I Will Wait" Mumford & Sons

Fans have been eagerly anticipating new Mumford & Sons music since the Grammy-approved folk rockers broke through with the #1 alternative hit "Little Lion Man" in 2010. "I Will Wait," the lead single from their sophomore album, Babel, provides a bit of shock to the system when it kicks off with a peppy banjo line that is strikingly reminiscent of that signature song. But it quickly evolves into an impassioned plea of heartbreak all its own. Marcus Mumford's vocal performance, a nearly spiritual cry of yearning amplified by layered harmonies, is a knockout. A

Throwback Thursday: "Hey There Delilah" Plain White T's

Amidst a sea of shawty-snappin', drum machine-crankin' hip-hop hits, the Plain White T's emerged from obscurity in the summer of 2007 to rule the Hot 100 for two weeks with the surprise smash "Hey There Delilah." This soft, intimate love song is a dreamer's manifesto, floating along on the promise of possibility and a simple acoustic guitar riff. But the undercurrent of violins offset singer Tom Higgenson with a melancholy dose of reality, suggesting that his are in fact the fantasies of a lovesick fool. By its final chords, "Delilah" reveals itself as a subversively beautiful depiction of the damages wrought by unrequited love. A-

Five years ago this week, "Hey There Delilah" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"Enough Said" Aaliyah ft. Drake

Well, this is certainly one of the more...unusual things to happen in pop music in recent memory. When rumors began circulating that Drake was planning to produce a new album featuring unreleased recordings of the late R&B superstar Aaliyah, public reaction could best be described as perplexed. (Though the Toronto rapper never met Aaliyah, he has a tattoo of her face on his back.) Yesterday Drake debuted the project's first single—the sparse, spacey "Enough Said"—and it doesn't clear up a whole lot. While Aaliyah's sound was defined by her groundbreaking collaborations with Timbaland and Missy Elliott, this haunting Noah "40" Shebib production sounds very much like one of Drake's existential ballads. "Enough" is no insult to Aaliyah's legacy, but fan concerns over what kind of vanity enterprise Drake is planning are certainly justified. Still, it's undeniably wonderful to hear Baby Girl's distinctively slinky vocals once again. B

"Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself)" Ne-Yo

Ne-Yo's career has been on a downward spiral over the last three years. Following his breakout #1 smash "So Sick" in 2006, he was on top of the R&B game, even earning an Album of the Year nomination for his third studio set, Year of the Gentleman, at the 2009 Grammys. Since the dance-pop boom that same year, the man has barely been scraping relevancy. A foray into the genre with his fourth album was widely ignored by the public, and his only hits since have come singing hooks for Pitbull and Calvin Harris. Yet Ne-Yo's latest single, "Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself)," offers more of the same: a synth-y Europop track in which is he an increasingly anonymous vocal presence. It's a perfectly adequate song for the clubs, but there is nothing remotely fresh or exciting about it. (Never mind that clunky mouthful of a title or the fact that "Girl, let me love you, baby" is an actual line in the chorus.) It's hard to imagine this is what his fans were clamoring for; it seems even more unlikely that it's the right move to turn Ne-Yo's fortunes around. B-

"Triumphant (Get 'Em)" Mariah Carey ft. Rick Ross and Meek Mill

A new Mariah Carey track should be an event. So is why is Mimi slumming it as a glorified hook girl on "Triumphant (Get 'Em)," the lead single from her upcoming fourteenth studio album? Purportedly inspired by husband Nick Cannon's recent health issues, the song's first two minutes are dominated by guest verses from rappers Meek Mill and Rick Ross. Carey shows up to deliver a solid—and potentially anthemic—chorus, but she is otherwise a nearly invisible presence, fading into Jermaine Dupri's rich production. Talk about wasted potential of the collective star power and talent assembled on "Triumphant"; it's probably the most baffling thing Carey's done since she stripped and passed out ice cream bars on the late, great TRL. Let's hope she follows up this misfire with her next "We Belong Together." C

Throwback Thursday: "Hot in Herre" Nelly

It's easy to forget that Nelly was already one multiplatinum album and four top ten hits into his career when he released "Hot in Herre," because ten years later, the summer smash of 2002 sticks out as his true star-making moment. Following the death of bubblegum pop, its seven-week run at the top of the Hot 100 helped cement the domination of urban music on the charts and turned the St. Louis rapper into a cultural phenomenon. (How else to classify otherwise sane people incorporating the line "I am getting so hot/I wanna take my clothes off" into real life?) It also feels like enough time has passed to publicly recognize "Herre" as the stroke of mindless genius that it is. A decade on, the rump-shaking percussive beat and charmingly goofy lyrics remain just as satisfying as ever. A

Ten years ago this week, "Hot in Herre" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"Queen of California" John Mayer

Once known for his womanizing and "racist penis," John Mayer's public persona has mellowed considerably in recent years. (He's been out of the spotlight almost entirely since last fall, when he underwent surgery to remove granulomas growing on his vocal cords.) New single "Queen of California" is equally devoid of the qualities that have made him an intriguing—and at times infuriating—artist over the past decade. Foregoing his bluesy ambition (and self-seriousness), Mayer heads further into jam band territory, turning in a flat, folky ditty about moving on to the next phase of life. The homey acoustic guitar might get your foot tapping, but the lack of any musical or emotional build-up robs the song of much interest. C+

"Too Close" Alex Clare

Have you heard about this dubstep thing? It's the latest craze sweeping the nation. All the cool kids are doing it! (Even the Grammys got in on the action earlier this year when they nominated Skrillex for Best New Artist.) You wouldn't know it from listening to pop radio, though. The electronic dance music subgenre may have taken over clubs and frat parties across America, but the airwaves are largely free of its signature wobble effects and bass drops—save for the occasional hipster-baiting breakdown in major label releases like Britney Spears' underappreciated "Hold It Against Me."

Now it seems that Alex Clare's "Too Close" has the potential to be the first true crossover success of the dub-pop era. Already a top ten hit in Clare's native Britain (where dubstep originated and stars like Katy B regularly rock the charts), "Close" is currently impacting Stateside, thanks to a featured spot in Microsoft's Internet Explorer 9 ad this past spring. Conventional wisdom would suggest its foreboding synths and laden pacing are too heavy for mainstream audiences, especially in the thick of summer. But the quirky percussive instrumentation of the verses and the stirring blue-eyed soul vocal make "Close" feel like a natural follow-up to "Somebody That I Used to Know" or "Rolling in the Deep" on a radio playlist. It will be interesting to see how far this one can go. A-

"New Day" 50 Cent ft. Dr. Dre and Alicia Keys

Earlier this summer, Alicia Keys teased fans with a rollicking piano jam that many took as a hint of what was to come on her long-awaited fifth studio album. Now there arrives a little bit of clarity: Apparently, she was just getting us all hyped for the return of 50 Cent. In an unexpected twist, Keys' track serves as the basis for "New Day," the Dr. Dre-produced lead single for Fiddy's upcoming Street King Immortal. Even more surprising? It's perhaps better than the original. The joyous urgency of Keys' chorus is elevated in these small doses—a refreshing hook cutting through mushmouth verses. Neither rapper turns in noteworthy work, but there's plenty of satisfaction in just letting your ear ride over that drumming beat. B+

Throwback Thursday: "Alone" Heart

Thanks to years of Idol worship (particularly one star-making performance by Carrie Underwood), Heart's "Alone" has been reignited as an '80s classic by a new generation of fans. It is now remembered as a standout moment of the power ballad era, mostly for its towering chorus that has become a crowning achievement for any aspiring diva. The desperate cries of "How do I get you alone?" certainly make for a stirring and memorable refrain, especially when bellowed by the full, emotive voice of Ann Wilson. It's enough to make you forget that the rest of the song is fairly lackluster—a snoozy placeholder until that epic release of unrequited lust. Nancy Wilson provides a kickass guitar solo, though. B+

25 years ago this week, "Alone" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"Goin' In" Jennifer Lopez ft. Flo Rida

Combining urban swagger with the trendiest Eurodance synths, "Goin' In" is one for the party people and the hard-hitting hip-hoppers of Step Up Revolution, the film soundtrack from which Jennifer Lopez's latest single is a featured release. As with most recent dance-pop music, the song is utterly lacking in substance (what does it really mean to "go in?"), but that hasn't stopped its ascent to the top five of the club charts on the strength of a hot, if somewhat generic, beat. Though Lopez's days as a pop superstar are seemingly behind her, this late-career revival of the dance floor diva inside—the source of J. Lo's greatest hit, "Waiting for Tonight"—suits her indistinct presence well. B-

"Pontoon" Little Big Town

There's nothing egregiously bad about Little Big Town's "Pontoon," a twangy celebration of summer lake trips that's been floating around the top twenty of the iTunes chart for weeks now. Unfortunately, the song is as dull as... Sorry, I momentarily feel asleep trying to think of an adequate aquatic-themed analogy. Lazing through a series of instructional lyrics that sound like they were written in about 10 minutes, the coed Alabama quartet provides the soundtrack for the least exciting pool party your aunt has ever hosted. Who are all these people buying this sleepy, sun-kissed jam session? Remind me not to attend their Labor Day barbeques. C-

"Everybody Talks" Neon Trees

It's been a quiet two years for Neon Trees since the Utah quartet's debut single, "Animal," went full indie breakout—#1 alternative hit! Vegas commercial! Glee cover!—back in 2010. But "Everybody Talks," the lead single from their recently-released sophomore effort of the same name, could put the band back on the map after slowly climbing its way into the top twenty of the Billboard Hot 100 over the past four months. In many ways, "Talks" is a close cousin of Neon Trees' earlier hit—another lo-fi garage rocker that takes off into the stratosphere during the sleek chorus. Throwbacks to the sounds of '60s guitar pop give it enough of a fresh edge to feel like its own song. B

"One More Night" Maroon 5

Lead single "Payphone" still hasn't left the top three of the Billboard Hot 100 since its debut more than three months ago, but Maroon 5 is already back with another release from its latest album, Overexposed. Adhering to the band's relentlessly pessimistic love-is-pain philosophy, "One More Night" is a grim midtempo track in which sex is the only thing left holding a relationship together. (When was the last time Adam Levine sang about something happy?) The highlight is Max Martin and Shellback's production, a bubbly yet dark reggae bounce that keeps the proceedings more interesting than they have any right to be. B

Throwback Thursday: "Baby Got Back" Six Mix-A-Lot

So controversial upon initial release that the music video was banned from airing on MTV before 9 p.m., "Baby Got Back," Sir Mix-A-Lot's classic paean to big butts, is now both a pop culture punchline (it has supplied cheap laughs in films ranging from Gigli to Shark Tale) and a nostalgic favorite among those of a certain generation. But is it any good? Well, yeah, it kind of is. From the opening declaration of "I like big butts and I cannot lie"—certainly one of the most memorable first lines in all of popular music—onward, the song is a rump-shaking good time, featuring a campy, sounds effects-laden instrumental and lewd, crude, eminently repeatable rhymes. What's more, Sir Mix-A-Lot actually has something valuable to say. Even as it revels in objectification and stereotypes, "Baby" humorously challenges the media's unreasonable standards for the female body. It's no feminist revolution, but it's hard to hate a song that can appreciate a full-figured woman. B+

20 years ago this week, "Baby Got Back" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.