"50 Ways to Say Goodbye" Train

Admittedly, Train is not my favorite band; the goofy, relentlessly peppy brand of mom rock on which their recent career has soared is like my anathema. But surely "50 Ways to Say Goodbye" is some sort of low, even for them. Never mind that it sounds just like a mariachi-ized version of "Drive By"—Train's last single and one of the year's most annoying hits—because why not?! The true pain resides in the song's utterly witless central joke: lead singer Pat Monahan can't accept that his girlfriend dumped him, so he'll tell everyone that she died in absurdly extravagant fashion. Hilarious! I can't blame her for leaving. D-