Sigh, Madonna... I was ready to give you the benefit of the doubt about your upcoming twelfth album, MDNA, after its highly calculated lead single, "Give Me All Your Luvin'," won me over with a cheeky surf rock guitar riff. But this limp new song, "Girl Gone Wild," seems to confirm my worst fears: you're officially trying too hard. I know it's difficult to pull in that elusive youth demographic, but maybe you could try reminding them what an exciting musical innovator and boundary-pusher you used to be, instead of turning yourself into an afterthought to the latest hot fad. (Remember how well that worked on Hard Candy?)
This pulsating electro beat certainly isn't going to cut it. It's oddly reminiscent of Usher's underwhelming 2010 hit "DJ Got Us Fallin' in Love Again," which either means you got stuck with Benny Benassi's least inspired work ever, or the dance-pop wave is really starting to show signs of strain. And your overly processed vocals totally get lost behind the thumping synths, until it's a little too Ke$ha for comfort. (Also, what's with calling yourself a girl? I said it before, and I'll say it again: You're a 53-year-old mother; it's not cute anymore.) "Girl" feels very been-there-done-that—not just in the grand scheme of pop star trend-hopping, but even in comparison to 2005's Confessions on a Dance Floor, which saw you do Eurobeats in a much more inventive and convincing fashion. I can promise, Madge, this will not be the hit that you're so desperately seeking. B-
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