"Live While We're Young" One Direction

How does one rebel against teen pop stardom without losing an ounce of mom-approved accessibility? Just ask the adorable British moppets of One Direction. "Live While We're Young," the lead single from their second studio album (what, already?!), Take Me Home, is another bouncy guitar ditty...full of barely-veiled references to having a one-night stand with a stranger. Lines like "I know we only met/but let's pretend it's love" are not exactly appropriate for the group's core audience, but they'll pass right over the heads of tween girls too busy rocking out to the rousing "woah oh ohs." The rest of us will just have to look past the inherent skeeviness—or miss out on some awesome cowbell. B

Throwback Thursday: "I'll Make Love to You" Boyz II Men

Though it was the battle between the Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync that dominated the zeitgeist (BSB 4EVA!), the title for biggest boy band of the '90s might actually belong to Boyz II Men, who harmonized their way to more than 20 million albums sold and three of the longest-running #1 hits of all time. Among those signature smashes is "I'll Make Love to You," an R&B power ballad that spent an astounding 14 weeks atop the Billboard Hot 100 and lives on as the soundtrack to countless slow dances at proms and weddings. It's an appropriately sterile legacy for what is possibly one of the least sexy sex jams ever recorded. Despite some fairly explicit references to where things are headed ("Throw your clothes on the floor/I'm gonna take my clothes off, too"), the song's booming grandeur is hardly carnal—more suitable for an epic declaration of love than a proposition to get it on. There's a sense of intimacy missing from "I'll Make Love," especially as the chorus bursts with the rich vocals of all four Men, suggesting a whole other kind of entanglement. B-

18 years ago this week, "I'll Make Love to You" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"Diamonds" Rihanna

As sure as children go back to school and the leaves change color, each fall brings a new Rihanna album. Yesterday, she announced her fourth straight November release (and seventh studio effort in as many years), which was followed today by the debut of lead single, "Diamonds," an aspiring lovers' anthem that falls short with its insipidly repetitive lyrics. On the plus side, the midtempo groove is a refreshing change of pace for the Barbadian pop star; given the opportunity to dig at something a little deeper, she bears flashes of the soul that was frequently missing from her extended foray into dance floor divadom. But there are only so many times that one can hear Rihanna bizarrely sing the line "Shine bright like a diamond" as though she learned it phonetically (hint: much fewer than the 24 times she does it in the song) before this rough gem starts to lose its luster. B-

"Die Young" Ke$ha

Here's something you probably never thought you'd hear: Ke$ha is better than this. In that sense, she's surprised us all with "Die Young," the disappointing lead single from her upcoming second studio album, Warrior. It's pretty much the only way in which the song surprises. Throwing together all the typical ingredients of a Ke$ha track—massive Dr. Luke hook, party-like-nothing-else-matters lyrics, Auto-Tune galore—"Young" feels entirely too expected, as though she's pandering to fans for a guaranteed hit. Ke$ha's party girl antics and "garbage chic" style have previously been the inspiration for some legitimately great pop music (yes, they have; just admit it), but this "Tik Tok" rehash is stale like leftover beer the morning after a kegger. C

"This Kiss" Carly Rae Jepsen

By far my favorite music trend of 2012 is the bubblegum pop revival. From the Backstreet Boys to Britney Spears, the genre was the soundtrack to my youth, and I can't help but smile hearing it blast again from the radio as One Direction tells me how beautiful I don't know I am. Leading the charge, at least in my book, is Canadian sensation Carly Rae Jepsen, who has brought so much joy to my ears this year with songs like "Call Me Maybe" and the appropriately-titled "Good Time." Her latest single, the cheery, chirpy "This Kiss," keeps the streak alive with an irresistible '80s mall-pop vibe that would make Tiffany proud. Its artificial sound—synthy keyboard hook, staccato drum machine claps, playful dashes of Vocoder—is the perfect driving music for a night out on the neon-lit town. B+

Throwback Thursday: "Unpretty" TLC

In recent years, a spate of "it gets better" dance anthems have proved hugely successful for just about every major pop diva around. But none of them has matched the poignancy or heart of TLC's self-empowerment opus "Unpretty," which was warning girls against the dangers of society's unfair beauty standards—and the boys who buy into them—long before Lady Gaga was even a twinkle in pop music's eye. What distinguishes "Unpretty" is its candid vulnerability. Rather than floating above the self-doubting misery of it all on bursting synths and soaring vocals (à la recent hits like "Firework" and "Born This Way"), it is grounded in melancholy confessions and inviting harmonies that give the listener a true empathetic hook. The song becomes an opportunity for honest self-reflection and emotional confrontation, not just the soundtrack to a hot night out at the club, and that makes the ebullient affirmation of the chorus feel all the more enlightened and sincere. The result is a genuinely uplifting musical experience—one in which the final, blissful electric guitar solo seems to carry you away into a state of cathartic peace. A

13 years ago this week, "Unpretty" was the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100.

"9th Inning"/"Triple Threat" Missy Elliott ft. Timbaland

In the seven years since Missy Elliott last dropped a new album, the music industry has seen radical shifts in its economic and artistic landscape. So when Elliott announced over Labor Day weekend that she was finally debuting two new singles from her seventh studio effort, Block Party, it was a moment of both excitement and apprehension for fans: Would Missy deliver the goods? Was there even still a place for her in the current rap game? On "9th Inning," Elliott (with assistance from longtime collaborator Timbaland) laughs off such questions, plotting her imminent return to the top of the charts over a racing piano arpeggio. She goes even further on "Triple Threat"—the superior track for its skittering, spacey, classically Timbo production—promising to "slap whoever said I'm irrelevant." Whether audiences are equally ready to re-embrace Elliott as rap's premier female emcee is to be seen; neither "Inning" nor "Threat" is as mind-bendingly catchy as her signature hits. But both have an authentic hip-hop vision that should leave Nicki Minaj quaking slightly in her stilettos—and hopefully stepping up her game. "9th Inning": B/"Triple Threat": A-